The Dead Lives

Hey everyone! I know I’ve been gone for quite some time but I’m working on revamping this website to make it appeal to everyone. Between two jobs, working 60+ hours a week, and studying for a board exam, I haven’t had much time to do anything. I was traveling for a little while and went to California and Las Vegas for a few weeks, so I’m going to have to update you on my trip. I’ve also been adjusting to my new job at a different hospital… and finally had enough of the old one, haha. I ended up quitting in August, so doing that has taken a load off my shoulders and freed up a lot of my time. So… where do I begin…
Now that I’m back, up, and running again, I figured I would address the job situation. As some of you might know, I currently work in the medical field. I was so fed up with the current hospital I was working at because the people there are childish and pretty horrible. I got a call to come to an interview for a hospital further out east from my house, so I decided to take my chances and gamble on this position. I ended up taking it and realized after working both jobs for a few months that it wasn’t worth it to keep the old job. There were supervisors watching my every move to get me into trouble. I was getting called into the manager’s office because I was saying “hello” or “goodbye” to my coworkers… that’s how ridiculous it got. Once that happened, I knew it was time to go. It was the best decision I made this year. Good riddance. My new job is always entertaining and I get along with everyone here. We’re a close-knit group of people and no one ever fights with each other. We don’t have adults who act like children here either. It’s been pretty sweet.
My boyfriend and I ended up planning our summer vacation in California this year. We went to San Diego in July and I had the best experience ever! It wasn’t my first time going to San Diego, but it WAS my first time going to San Diego Comic Con! That was probably one of the highlights of my summer. I will blog about the entire experience tomorrow, but for now… here are a few tidbits:
• I managed to meet Seth Green and his lovely wife, Clare • I completely annihilated the Comic Con floor by grabbing all the free stuff • Met some lovely Black Milk sharkies along the way and stopped by the BM booth • Ran into my buddies in New York • Spent a crap-load of time with my cousins and my niece • Oh… and did I mention… MET THE CAST OF THE WALKING DEAD!!!!!!!!!!
We also went to Las Vegas and LA… which was also fun. Vegas is always a trip, especially when your hotel bumps you up to a suite with an amazing view. I visited more family Carlsbad and hung out at the beach. My lovely friend Cher, the owner of Poprageous, let us stay at her house and we hung out all weekend! It was the best time ever. I wish I could move there one day. I can never get enough of that place. Like I said, though… details to come!
Well, that’s it for now… I’ll get the ball rolling on my summer fun and explain how life has changed. I can’t wait to show you all my new polishes! They’re glorious and glamorous. You’ll love them. Anyway, catch you later!

Fitting In

Hello everyone... I've been MIA for quite some time.  It's been a hectic past few months, considering I started working at another job, started studying for my exam again, and took some time to work on myself at the gym.  It's been rough, but I'm slowly getting through it.  I want to start blogging again, so here's to me and myself.  Cheers!

I guess I'll start up by saying something I've kept inside for a long time.  I'm quite the lonely person.  I've always wanted to fit in somewhere, whether it be with my skateboarding friends in high school, the gothic kids, or the preppy polo-wearing students in AP class.  I was the quiet, hard-working, studious Asian who didn't really have many friends and didn't see any potential in anything.  I had high aspirations to become a graphic designer because of my love for art.  I wanted nothing more than to follow my dreams and turn them into a reality... but things changed for me during my senior year.  I had the opportunity to go to Cooper Union, an art school in NYC, but my mom told me she wouldn't pay for my school if I went for something "unsubstantial."  I ended up choosing a field they wanted me to choose, which was medicine.  I hated it.  I hated everything about it and my love for school became hate.  It wasn't who I wanted to be.  I wanted to be someone different, but I pushed myself to do something to appease someone else.  End result?  I'm stuck in a field I'm not happy in and I'm still alone.  Don't ever do something to be a people pleaser.

It took 26 years and two weeks (I'm turning 27 soon!  WOO I'm getting old!) for me to realize what I've been missing.  I've always wanted to please everyone and keep them happy around me.  I've always joined groups, clubs, and attended functions to get to know people and hopefully get them to know and understand me.  I wanted to meet someone who had the same goals and aspirations as I did, and get close to them.  Now that I look back on all of it, I never really had too many close friends who knew me well.  I can remember all the clubs I joined in high school... some clubs I joined were specifically used to show I was a well rounded person in college, while others were just because I had friends in there.  I did join two clubs for leadership... which were Art Palettes and Mathletes (social suicide, I know).  However, these two clubs meant something to me... they were my favorite subjects, so I wanted to prosper in those fields.

In college, I joined the Stony Brook Ballroom Dance Team, which I totally sucked at... considering I didn't really have a set partner.  It was fun, but I didn't find a group of people I wanted to spend time with.  I made "friends" with people on my entire floor, my building, and even in my quad... but none of them were as close to me as the select few I got so close to.  I had my roommate, who has always been my best friend (even though she's far away), my other friend (who moved to Texas), and... that's it.  I tried to make friends in Puso (Philippine United Students Organization) but that didn't really work out for me.  I guess I didn't drink enough and I didn't click too well with everyone to be part of that group... or maybe I wasn't Filipino enough... who knows.  College passed me by and I never really found too many people to call friends either.

By the time I got to my second and third college (I was a college hopper because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do for a while), I had joined two Christian clubs in both my schools.  I made some awesome friends who really showed me the light of Christ.  I developed real relationships with these students and we shared a bond together... but at the end of it, nothing worked out and I was once again alone by the time I finished college.  I wanted to make an impact on the world by spreading the Good News to others, especially people my age... and maybe, just maybe, I touched someone along the way... but I still felt empty inside.  Something didn't seem right in my eyes and I still felt lonely, no matter how many friends I tried to make.  I am very grateful to have walked a path along with them for a while, though.

Blogging has always been the one thing I could always be openly honest about and never have a problem.  My blog is where I can truly be "me."  However, things changed when I started making friends on Xanga.  I got more followers for my blog, but at the same time, I wanted to get close to these people having meet ups and get togethers.  I tried to make friends with them and impress them by having a completely insane party at a hotel for my birthday, but it sort of backfired and I guess I didn't really make too many real friends out of it.  I thought being the life of the party (compared to the normal quiet person I really am) would have them accept me into their group... but I was still the outcast at the end of it.  I happened to get close to a few people along the way, so it didn't really turn out to be a total bust.  However, being snubbed by a bunch of people really hurt me long term.  I had a barbecue for my birthday the year after and none of those people who showed up the year before came, even though they said they'd come.  It was a real slap in the face for me... and I was so embarrassed.  I never really got used to that lonely feeling.

At one point, I tried to make friends at work... but the people I work with really can't be anymore than coworkers to me... because if I leave that place, like all other jobs, those people continue to move on without me.  Even when you get close to someone at work, it doesn't mean you'll be close to them once you leave.  I don't hang out with 3/4 of the people outside of the workplace, even though we always talk about going out and doing other things.  With my new job, I just stay quiet because I'm a bit shy to open up to others.  I know I'll fit in nicely if I just stay quiet an do my work, which is something I've been trying out lately.  It seems to be working well for me... so I'll probably stick to it for a little while.  Besides, I don't know if I have anything to relate to my coworkers with.

I've used the internet to be part of something massive... which was what I liked to call the "Black Milk Cult."  I say this because most of the girls on the forums are obsessed with Black Milk Clothing and they just spend all their money on nylon.  I did it for a few months, but slowly began to realize that Black Milk's entire strategy is to make girls feel special about wearing their brand and to allow them to keep buying "limited" pieces, since it will no longer be made.  Most of these girls have massive collections of nylon clothing, which cost at least $70 per article.  I wanted to be part of the "OMG I have to buy all the BM pieces of I'm going to die because I don't have it" group... until I realized how stupid I sounded and how much money I was spending for clothes I would only wear every so often... so that quickly died out.  Once you come to a realization for things, the truth comes out and it shows who you really have become.  I became the fashion mogul wannabe.  Hah... so much for that.

After countless efforts of feeling lonely and looking for my own niche, I found one that keeps me sane. I started going back to the gym constantly because I was getting tired of people calling me fat all the time and I wanted to get back into shape.  Working out grounds me and shows me I can still have energy after I work all day.  I push myself to the limits just to see how far I can go.  I've set up goals I'm trying to accomplish before the end of the summer.  I've made a few acquaintances, workout buddies, trainer friends, and networks throughout the past few months at my new gym.  These people are there to help me, but I know most of them go home to a place where I am not remembered... but hey, if they're at the gym, I'll always stop by to say hello.  However, I've come to the realization that I really don't need to find a group of people who I fit in with.  All the people I meet are there for a reason, whether it be to be with me long term or to show me something for my future... but just because I met them doesn't mean I have to get close to them.  It was a hard concept to come to terms with, but that's life.

I love being myself... and I am aggressive, kind, caring, and quite blunt.  I can be annoying, a bully, and I can over react when things don't go my way... but that's the package you get when you get to know me.  If you want to stick around, then by all means... come take a seat and have coffee with me.

Detoxifying H2O Fat Flusher

Hi everyone!  Happy New Year!  I'm sorry I've been MIA... I got a new position at work that has me working every day so it's been a little difficult for me to find some time to myself.  Now that I'm back, I'll be blogging more often.  We've been getting tons of snow in recent weeks, which has been hindering me from going to the gym since I have to drive.  I've been trying to find some alternatives to my lack of exercise and motivation by working out at home and eating healthier, but I have a huge problem with drinking juices.  I love juices, lemonade, iced tea, and other sugary drinks (I'm notorious for drinking a trenta-sized Valencia Orange energizer or a Passion Tea Lemonade - sweetened with classic and 3 pumps raspberry).  As juice can be good for you, the amount of sugar manufacturers put into these drinks are not.  A friend of mine gave me the perfect solution to this sugary problem.

He gave me his own concoction of "detox water," which was fresh water infused with various fruits and vegetables.  I found it refreshing and light, as it wasn't sweet but was satisfying to my palate.  I was always a fan of water with lemon, so I took his recipe and tweaked it to my liking and found that it worked well for me.  Here's what I did.

Ingredients

• 1 gallon Spring Water
• 1 lemon, thinly sliced with skin
• 1 medium sliced cucumber, thinly sliced
• 1/2 cup strawberries, thinly sliced
• 2 cups green tea, cooled
• 1 kiwi, peeled and thinly sliced
• 1 cup mint leaves

Directions

Place all fruits and vegetables in a large pitcher and mix.  Let sit for at least 1 hour for the water/green tea mixture to saturate into the fruit.  Honey or agave nectar can be added for sweetening.  Serve cold and enjoy!

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This water is not only good for you, but also serves many benefits towards your health.  Water is used to hydrate a person... after all, our bodies are made of 50-75% of water!  Drinking 6-8 glasses of water a day can detoxify your system alone as a diuretic by flushing out all the toxins in your kidneys and keep your body energized throughout the day.  However, every other fruit or vegetable you add to your water will only intensify the benefits.

• Lemon:  The lemon in the water not only gives Vitamin C to boost your immune system, but curbs your appetite as well.  Lemons also help the liver by dissolving uric acid and other toxins in the system.  It can also increase peristalsis in the bowels, creating movement and eliminating waste.
• Kiwi:  Kiwis are not only rich in Vitamin C, but also contain phytonutrients and antioxidants that help protect DNA.  These types of fruits typically help protect a person from having problems in the future, such as respiratory problems.  The vitamins also help boost the human immune system.
• Mint:  Mint is a stimulant that activates the digestive enzymes that absorb nutrients from food and consume fat and turn it into consumed energy.
• Strawberry:  Strawberries contain antioxidants and natural anti-inflammatory phytonutrients that help with osteoarthritis, asthma, and atherosclerosis.  Increased intake of strawberries can also decrease the risk of type 2 diabetes.  Strawberries also contain nitrates, which help increase blood flow throughout the body for increased weight loss while exercising.  
• Green Tea:  Green tea is also extremely high in antioxidants but also is the ultimate fat burner because it melts the fat off the body.  It also increases metabolism by at least 4%.
• Cucumber:  This particular vegetable also reduces uric acid in the liver while stabilizing blood pressure.  It also supplies magnesium, potassium, and silicon into the body, revitalizing the skin.

I've been drinking this water for the past week and I've been feeling more energized myself.  Don't believe me?  Try it out for yourself and let me know how you feel.  Until next time!